Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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