Can Purell be used as lube?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
being pregnant is like rehab
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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