you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
