i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize