Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
