I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
