remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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