we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
