How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
