i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
