somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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