NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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