At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
