hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize