I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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