Already got asked if we're dating
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize