Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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