He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
