is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
