Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
