She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
