I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
