If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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