my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
