Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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