he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
