What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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