Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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