Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
