return my video game
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I supernannyed him into submission
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