I wish I could punch you in the face.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
