guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
