your parents love me but you hate me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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