This girl is more easily done than said...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
