I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
