you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
