I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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