he wants to bone in the snuggie
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
