I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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