All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
