We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
