I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
