A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
