god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
