yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize