This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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