The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you didnt know i had herpes?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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