Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
jump out the window naked night went bad
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
