Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
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is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
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I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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