YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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