do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
