just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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