my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
