Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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