I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
