There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
