Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
