Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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