So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I didn't notice because vodka
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
