I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
